Capitalism
- Thought Control Or Corporations For The Masses? Written
By Michael Cascone
Again, I let my fingers grace the keys and my mind open
to react to what is happening in the world. I probably should've/could've
written rants about the Iraqi incident, which is still in
progress. Or perhaps how President Bush almost died eating
a fucking pretzel! But, I didn't feel the particular urge.
Now, however, I do - and thus, I write.
I guess I'll start with one of my weaker points, just to
get it out of the way. I was reading the newspaper recently,
flipping through the National section of my local paper
- which basically borrows every article from the National
Post - so let's just say I was reading the National Post.
Hoo ray! for corporate media representation. Back to what
I was saying, however. As I flipped through the pages I
came across an article that caught my eye quiet quickly.
It was entitled "Home-Storage for Sperm."
Home-Storage for Sperm... What the fuck? So I read the
article to satisfy my curiosity. While the world is fighting
wars and our enviromental system is dying, some scientists
thought it would be more productive to master the technique
of air-drying sperm. I can tell you right now that I've
seen dried sperm - there's nothing too special about it.
The basic concept of these scientists is to create a simpler
way to store sperm for the average man that wants to be
able to artificially inseminate any woman that walks into
his house, or something along those lines - why the hell
else would he want to keep tons of his manly secretion in
a jar? I mean, I'd love to come home to my own personal
sperm collection. It'd give me a chance to name each vial
with some sort of bisexual name - Terry... or... Jordan,
even.
That brings about my next point... Bush. President Bush,
that is. As the Iraqi conflict simmers in the pot, and the
American army rushes around to clean up the peices of a
country they just tore the fuck apart, Bush has decided
it would be a good idea to make yet another address - likely
written by Colin Powell. Much the same as when Afghanistan
was taken off the map, Bush's speach addressed the exact
same points:
#1. Bombing the fuck out of Iraq has won us the war.
#2. In every speach I make, I will avoid directly addressing
the fact that there have been no discoveries of any kind
pertaining to nuclear weapons or weapons of mass destruction.
#3. Rebuilding is going to be a long and hard road for the
Iraqi people.
#4. They should have fun doing it on their own.
President Bush is the only man I've heard speak that covers
his own ass so well he doesn't even need to threaten with
the army.
I know this hasn't really been me ranting about anything,
but I also don't really care. On that note, I've got one
more item to discuss briefly.
Our Prime Minister gave a speech today regarding the phenomenal
turn-out for the Canada Day bash on Parliment Hill. Over
75,000 Canadian's showed up for a day of live music, food,
beer, and toques. I can garuntee you that only two of the
four items in the previous list drew Canadian's to Parliment
Hill. The beer - likely because half of the people ran out
of what was at their houses, and the beer stores were closed
so they couldn't restock - and the toques. What Canadian
isn't going to snag a toque when the opprotunity arises?
You never know when you'll need one up here in the Great
White North.
On that note, I'm stopping this horribly written and disgustingly
thought-through article, sparking a fat blunt, and getting
all British Columbia on you. Time to make like a tree and
branch.
Peace,
Jordan Lennox
P.S. Feedback, and e-mails from girls are more then welcome.
(punkass_skankin@hotmail.com)
